Dolphin Address 21
August 13th 2006
A few months ago, on one of my nocturnal web surfs, I happened upon a dating guru. He is not just flogging pick-up lines and sex-trickery, but has upgraded the meeting of the other camp into an awakening. I liked his revealing approach of imagining you to be an attractive woman and view the world from her perspective. Like how she gets hit upon by eager guys over thirty times a day and the defence and selection routines she needs to draw up and how us guys can tap into such settings and leap over them.
His free newsletters are riveting reading when you get used to dodging the commercial content and repetitions and he shows your world from an entirely different angle. You're sort of being brainwashed into relating to women in a more challenging instead of an obliging mode.
Though initially appearing too intentional you grow into a conduct that is actually appreciated by woman. Moreover, any moral or psychological objection disappears like snow in summer when contrasted with the lame deluge of potency pills and prostate potions that I daily have to squelch off my silvery screen. He offers an interactive, intuitive and attentive attitude for venturing into the expectations of the female spirit and opens up a more exiting playground for both parties.
Naturally I applied some basic insights to dolphin. One I found I have practised for quite a few years already. Women like men to have a life. I don't chase after the dolphin. Instead I follow my natural interest by checking out the kelp. There are so many lovely spots and so many colours, all in weightless 3D. And there she is.
I elicit her attention by doing things in the water. Like go down to three metre for half an hour, piling up stones, going for breath together, the dolphin following every move. I spark her attention by sets of sounds, like sub versions of my whistle.
To get noticed by women you need to emit presence. When Dusty is not around I go down as deep as I can so she can sonar me without the wave interference from the surface.
It is notorious how women can bitch among themselves. Dusty does it with style and humour. Several times now I have seen her leading too pushy women into a floating islet of seaweed and dead jelly's.
A great way to get a woman's attention is by teasing or playfully challenging her. This is illustrated with elegance and persistence in two particular videos of the
new(!) collection, the 'Peek-a-boo barrel roll' and the 'Seeweed'. First I peek at her from behind the 'The Hammer', a central rock in her residence bay that subs at high tide. She sneaks up on the other side and you can see her do a 'dead give away' check if I am ready to admire her. Next she gives in slo-mo a mouth watering elegant barrel roll while circling around me at close quarters. She must be pretty aware of the camera as a visual captor for staging such a display.
In the 'Seeweed' video with expert dexterity of her beak she uses the buoyancy of a drift of seaweed to catch and take it to me, expecting a rub, nodding her head in encouragement. When I do not budge she brings it in even closer. When I still don't consent to her appeal she circles around me and deposits the seaweed nearly into the lens. I then take it in my hand and put it on top of my head. She shakes hers at so much flippancy and gives up.
I just realise that from anthropomorphizing dolphins I tend to dolphinize myself. There is hope, I know, but it keeps hiding in lonely places.
Jan Ploeg, Meadow Fanore, August 13th 2006
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